Dear John
There comes a time when you need to sit your younger self down and have a talk with your inner child. Imagine if your Older self could go back in time and share some insightful tips to your younger self, what would you say? Here's what mine would look like:
I'm writing this letter to remind you of the journey you've been on and all you've endured throughout your life. Sometimes we get stuck in a routine and need a jolt of reality to remind us how proud we should be of ourselves. Do you remember laying down underneath the basement stairs at 8 years old holding a pointed umbrella into your chest thinking of attempting suicide? Or walking to school wondering if today's is going to be another day that your teacher sexually abuses you? Do you remember all the times you spent alone with emotional abuse from 3 older sisters and the shame you endured from wetting your bed every night, and how you turned into a person who hated the world?
Perhaps you remember losing everything and hitting rock bottom several times. Always flirting with death by getting involved in dangerous activities like jumping off the roof or riding on dangerous ramps with your bike or stabbing your leg with a knife, or drinking poison? Running away from the group home the many times that you did? And fleeing British Columbia to live on the road hitchhiking across Canada at the age of 15?
Do you remember moving back home but not feeling welcome, always feeling like an outsider, only to find yourself being abandoned by family again? Then being manipulated, used and abused by other people on your journey of finding yourself? Remember when you finally afforded your own apartment only to discover that your depression and loneliness were about to take you into the darkest pits of hell?
Remember being diagnosed with Meniere's disease? Having to put your 16 year old cat down and have him die in your arms? Relying on drugs and alcohol to help you make it through the day or to help you get to sleep? Remember dealing with anxiety, panic attacks and agoraphobia? Remember thinking you were crazy and that things would never change?
Being diagnosed with PTSD, depression and hypervigilance? Is any of this ringing a bell for you? Never forget John, the hell you've overcome. Remember every single day just how grateful and lucky you are to be alive. You're living with purpose, by helping other people instead of hurting them. You've come so far in healing your trauma and worked so hard on your healing every day. I'm so proud of you John. You have such a massive heart to escape the pain you felt, but not just that... You decided to go back into that hell and relive it to create a blueprint for others to use and learn from so that they too could become survivors instead of remaining victims. By helping other lost souls out of the darkness by working in mental health.
I love you so much John, some days will be hard but never forget how blessed we are to be in this life we created for ourselves.
Read this any time you feel down, or heartbroken. Use this as a reminder of how fortunate you are. Heal more, get stronger, Rest when necessary and always be grateful. Life is beautiful my friend and we have a lot of work to do. Always remember this, what we do is not a career or a job… it’s our destiny. You’re here on this earth to bring love into the world, and to inspire others to rise above their inner darkness. Thank you for not giving up on my heart, even when I felt that the world around me had fallen into the abyss
I will never forget what you did for me John.
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Sincerely your Inner child